OMG -- so cheesy. So bad, they had to be quoted in this column. Rewrites of Jane Austen classics purporting to bring all the sexual tension found in the novels to the fore of explicitly written e-books are proving to be hilarious. In one version, olfactory cues are added to add a layer of romance-borrrowed prose. In another quote, where smell does not play a role, the text is so downright cheesy, you have to read it to believe it.
Conclusion: You can say "sex, sex, sex" all day, that won't make up for an erotic novel worth its salt.
Pride & Prejudice
"In anticipating the happiness of Bingley, which of course was to be inferior only to his own, he [Darcy] continued the conversation till they reached the house. In the hall they parted"...
Sexe-Up: (brackets our own)
"In anticipating the happiness of Bingley, which of course was to be inferior only to his own, he continued the conversation for a little while...
Darcy's words set Elizabeth alight [LOL] and when his lips finally descended on hers [RE-LOL] she murmured her approval [ROFL]
The fresh, earthy smell of the forest, the pine trees, the grass beneath their bodies combined with the delicious scent of Darcy. Hot, spicy and all man [ROFL!].
And here's a bonus quote:
"Jane, be still a few moments: you are over-excited: I will be still too.
Mr. Rochester sat quiet, looking at me gently and seriously. Some time passed before he spoke; he said at last -- "Come to my side Jane and let us explain and understand one another."
"Jane, be still a few moments, you are over-excited; I will be still too.
"My master captured my wrists and secured them behind my back, imprisoning me and preventing my movements [ROFL -- Jane did not see this one coming]...
He exerted the force of his will as effortlesly as he schooled my person, relentlessly and with an inexorable force, he commanded me against his body [OMG LOL]...
No matter how I controlled my mind, my very flesh was weak [you don't say]
Via Daily Mail